Phrases I Can Use On My Cats, But Not My Future Children

"Come here, you little fucker.  You're adorable." "For the love of God, can you learn to cover up your poop?" "For the love of God, stop licking your brother's butt." "The repairman's coming over, so I need to lock you in the basement for a few hours." "Who is my little fatass?  Is it you?…

My First Week of All Teaching and No Taking

Hey!  Did you know I'm a yoga instructor? Have I not mentioned that practically every chance I get and in every medium I can? No? Hey, guess what: this bitch is a registered yoga instructor.  Pleasure to meet you. I became registered in this past August, and I actually started teaching about a month or two before that: first…

A Little Bit Lighter

Because it's pretty, because it's symbolic, because I like that we made the tree all stripe-y, because the last post was a bit too somber for my tastes, here's a picture of our tree with lights, before ornaments, on dry carpet, and with no one crying. And with Salem posing for the camera.  We started…

A Need for Christmas Spirit

Two days after Thanksgiving, my father was rushed to the hospital.  He was delirious, incoherent, and had lost all control of his legs.  A day later, he had a seizure so severe that they had to sedate him.  My life since Thanksgiving has been a series of frantic text messages, sets of calls and emails to…

Today’s Life Lesson, Brought to You By Gordito-Cat

This is Milo.  We adopted this little guy nearly 7 years ago from the ARL in Boston.  He's got big floppy ears and a squeaky meow.  He gets up on his hind legs like a meerkat and he comes when he's called (usually at what can only be described as a happy-trot).  He's the sweetest,…